The Damned and Divine
by Iamepical
Summary: A collection of one-shots to capture the tragic love story between Severus Snape and Lily Evans.
1. The Stag and The Doe

_**A/N: **__Hola, mis amigos! I never usually write anything Harry Potter related for fear of screwing it up, but I love Severus/Lily so much that I had to. I'm working on something longer, but while I write (which is a slow process!) I thought I would post some short little snippets to try and capture their relationship. I hope you enjoy them :D_

He watches her from the shadows.

Her face is screwed up in an all too familiar expression of determination as she selects a memory so that he can't help but wonder what she is thinking. The boy in him hopes that she's remembering that happy afternoon they spent by the lake before it all went wrong; the Slytherin in him knows better.

Nothing happens the first time she shouts 'expecto patronum', her face all glowing with girlish excitement. She looks disappointed and for half a moment Severus considers going to her. He puts one foot forward, on the verge of calling out, "Li,-"

But then _he_ comes into view. _Potter._ Always God damn _Potter._

"I was thinking hard of my memory, just like you said, but nothing happened!" she spluttered.

"It's a difficult spell. Don't worry Lily, not many people get it right the first time," he touches her arm lightly. Lily doesn't seem to feel it, but for Severus it feels like an unforgivable curse aimed right through his heart.

"Did you? Get it right the first time?"

"Course I did," he says casually, running a hand through his dark hair. He hesitates, but then he stands behind her and grabs her arm. "Think of your memory again. Make it a good one. Ready?"

She nods, her red hair a halo of fire around her pale face. Carefully, he guides her arm, she speaks the words and the patronus shoots out her wand, brighter than Severus has ever seen one before.

It's a doe.

Severus feels his body slide down the wall.

Lily knows it won't come so easily with real dementors, but at least she's actually managed it. She beams at James and Severus sees a spark of electricity glowing behind her eyes that was never there when she looked at him. _I_ _could have helped you too, Lil. I can use defensive magic just as well as I can use dark magic, _he thinks desperately, wishing he could tear Potter's arm off. _I didn't mean to call you a mudblood, Lil. I love you. _But he doesn't say any of those things. He is the coward his father always said he was. And he is a Slytherin. Nothing can change that, no matter what he feels.

Her patronus dances around the room, sniffing the air for signs of danger as it leaves a trail of silver in its wake before bouncing back to its caster's side. Potter grins at her and drapes an arm around her shoulders. "Awesome! That's really great! I'll show you mine now,"

His is a stag. It stands proud next to hers, the image of magnificence with its tall antlers.

The stag and the doe. Nature's most perfect match.

Severus has never cast a patronus, but he can imagine what form it would take. Maybe a spider or some other equally loathsome creature that hides in the darkness. He can't stand to look at them anymore, so young and so happy together, his heart burning with emotion. Who could ever love a spider when they had their very own stag?

Potter freezes then. So does Severus.

"What is it, James?"

"Someone's there," he murmurs. He approaches slowly, his mouth mutating into a wicked grin when he sees who it is.

"_Snivellus. _Excellent." He raises his wand, prepares to shout some hex. Like Severus couldn't stop it if he wanted to. Potter was _never_ going to curse him again.

"James, no-," she grabs his arm, pulls him away. Her patronus disappears. For a moment, Severus' heart leaps, but then she gives him a cold look and he knows that she will never forgive him; she is lost to him forever.

"What are you doing? Actually, you know what? I don't care. Go stalk someone else. You make me _sick. _Go, Sev, just go!"

"I...," he starts, but his voice catches in his throat like a zip. "was just going to the library,"

Potter smirks at him. Malicious. Triumphant. _Bastard._

Snape scuttles away from them then, retreating into the shadows; into the shadows where a Slytherin belongs.

**A/N: **_Poor Snape, right? ): I promise the next one will be happier. I hope I got Snape's character right. Please comment! Criticism welcome!_


	2. Their First Kiss

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, there would be some cheesy Snape meets Lily in the afterlife chapter.

Their first kiss isn't how Severus always dreamed it would be.

"_I love you, Lily," he murmurs, the words falling like shooting stars from his lips. She looks at her feet, her lips curving into a shy smile. He seizes her wrists, can feel the rapid throbbing of her pulse._

"_I love you too, Sev" she echoes, throwing her arms around his neck as she pulls him into a fierce embrace, her voice muffled against his neck. He-_

cries her name repeatedly when he sees her lying there on the floor, her arms and legs splayed out at awkward angles like a grotesque doll. His body crumbles against the door frame. Clutching his heart, he drags himself towards her body, a broken man. Through the haze of tears, he somehow manages to ease her body into his arms. He shakes her, almost rough, urging her to wake up; she couldn't be dead, not Lily, not his best friend, his soul, who he would have done anything for. But he can't feel her pulse and she is irrevocably gone, leaving him behind in an abyss of terror. Holding her against him, he rocks her back and forth as he might a child. She feels icy beneath his fingers and he knots them in her fiery hair instead, not able to stand it, kissing her forehead softly. He-

_untangles himself from her and noses bump as faces angle, awkward in youth's first kiss. Warm breath caresses his skin, setting his every nerve on fire and he traces her jaw with his fingers. Their bodies meet uncertainly as his lips brush hers and she pulls him close; he could count the freckles on her nose if he wanted to. Throughout their time at Hogwarts, they have learned countless spells, but nothing could have prepared them for a moment as magical as this. Severus shuts his eyes, losing himself in the touch of her lips against his, imagining their future; he has waited for this for so long. After one eternal moment, they part breathlessly, his grip tightening on her waist as she whispers his name. Then they start to laugh, knowing this is just the beginning. He-_

kisses her again then, kisses her stone cold lips like he always wanted to, tears falling from his eyelashes onto her pallid face. He might as well be kissing death itself. The knowledge that their first kiss isn't really a first kiss at all grips his heart with an iron hand.

It is their final goodbye.

**A/N:** Just a short one. I know I said it would be cheerful. Looks like I lied :P Anyway, please review (:


End file.
